Fat Kid on the Metro

The metro is the most unbelievable thing! It makes the NYC subway feel like wide open spaces. We are all supposed to get in line and wait for the train to pull in. Getting in line is not something the Chinese understand; however, they are excellent at crowding. The tunnel is blocked by a huge clear plastic wall. (So no stories about falling on the third rail.) There are lines on the floor that show where we are supposed to queue in front of the plastic. On this particular day, I was aiming for the last car and the arrows indicated that everyone wanting to get on should crowd to the right and leave a space on the left for people to exit.
This particular time I had a place pretty close to the front. The crowd was doing a decent job of staying on the proper side. Out of nowhere, this chunky little kid walks right up to the doors on the exit side. Being the aggressive American my first thought was to tell him to get his behind to the back of the line. Alas, I have yet to learn that phrase in Chinese. You better believe I was giving him a dirty look, though!

There are subway monitors. They are very much like hall monitors. They wear sashes and tell people to get in place and have no real authority. The subway monitor on this day approached and told the kid to scoot over. Of course, he scooted over right in front of me.

Finally, the train pulls into the station and people start to crowd in toward the doors. I’m getting pushed from behind and I’ve got this kid right in front of me. To push or not to push? That is the question. On the one hand he is just a kid of maybe 11. On the other hand, the butterball cut in front of me. I’m doing a really good job of not pushing him when I realize that he’s just standing there. Everyone is getting on around him! They’re filling up all the space on the train and I’m about to get left off.

I pushed him. It’s not like I knocked him on his ass. It was much too crowded for him to fall that far! I was wearing my backpack on the front (to keep from getting pick pocketed) and I just sort of ran it into him. He lurched forward into the subway car and landed against a couple of people inside. I jumped into the car behind him.

One of the great things about the Chinese is that they are mostly non-confrontational. The kid just took it! I grabbed hold of the overhead handrail as the train took off. I was deep in thought. On one hand, I was feeling a little bit guilty about shoving the kid. On the other hand, I was thinking, that whole thing about the Chinese not being fat is a load of crap!