It is January 1st and I have no visa and no plane ticket. It is mildly frustrating. If you've ever planned a big event you know that having too much time to think about it is a bad thing. Little thoughts creep into my mind. Maybe I should be looking at graduate work instead. I wonder if that photography venture with my dad would work out. Don't get me wrong. I want to go to China. I very much want this adventure.
I want this adventure so much that I sit and worry about all the things that could keep me from going. You have no idea how many scenarios I've dreamed up about what could go wrong. I've got a military background. What if the Chinese government doesn't let me in because they think I'm a spy. I've worked with a church group. What if they won't let me in because they think I'm a missionary? I've got Rheumatoid Arthritis. What if they don't let me in because they think I'm a medical burden? This week I smashed my leg into a fixture at work (I know, very talented) and my father had me convinced that the bone was fractured and I would need a cast. Now I'm obsessed with avoiding random injuries that may prevent my departure. If you know me, you know that's a pretty big feat!
My leg is fine, by the way, in case you were worried.
Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to live by the immortal words of Ferris Bueller. "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." My life is going on right here and right now. It doesn't start if and when I get to China. I've got family to love and friends to spend time with and books to read and, of course, Rosie the Pug.
Waiting sucks. But I'm going to make sure I'm living and not just waiting. Call if a New Year's resolution if you want.
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How is the book coming along??? You did start, didn't you?? Happy New Year to the girl soon to have a Visa :)
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